I love working with birds, and it’s a significant part of my life. I’m a volunteer, so ultimately, no matter how much I love it, it’s not my project. My experience belongs to me, but nothing else about it does, so I’m working on holding it all very lightly.
Currently, I’m a person without work, at least not paid work. Historically, I haven’t been very good at the business side of working with clients, so freelance graphic design was a bust (even though I love the discipline). And the pandemic… well, whatever I had been working on as an illustrator, designer, teacher… that all went away. Again, that’s fine, because whatever had been going on wasn’t working very well. (No one’s fault but mine, so I can’t even blame the pandemic, really.)
I’m thankful that my financial situation is stable, and I’m grateful that I have the wherewithal and opportunity to do so much volunteering. Huge privilege. It’s all very well and good, but it’s time to start figuring out what’s next.
While I do that, I’m going back to some of the things I’ve enjoyed in the past… to play, to work, and to figure out what it was about those things that I liked so much that I might be able to use going forward.
I’m going hard at my sketchbooks.
When I was a kid, art making was considered a waste of time (unless other people were doing it well, then it was worth their time) — anything that couldn’t be used to earn a living was considered a waste of time, or a parlor trick. So when I did well in writing classes in school, that wasn’t so cool. Neither was calligraphy or bookbinding…
“That’s fine, but how are you going to make a living?”
The thing is, and this was something I didn’t figure out until way into adulthood, not everything has to be a potential money maker. It’s OK to do some things because you enjoy them.
This was revelatory for me, especially because the most influential adult in my life absolutely had things that were important to them that were sacrosanct, even though those things had nothing to do with their professional life.
How could I have grown up witnessing this kind of self care without learning from it? “Do as I say, not as I do” goes both ways, apparently, whether you’re encouraging someone to do good when you do bad -OR- you’re encouraging someone not to take care of themselves when you’re actually taking care of yourself. (To be fair, this messaging happened across my family, not from just one person.)
Case in point: my brother was a radio broadcaster early in his career. It was a paid job, but even that was considered a hugely rebellious situation.
Right. So now that I’m in this hugely privileged position, I’m spending more time in my sketchbook. I’ve taken a few specialized drawing classes (and will be taking more). I’m going to be doing more volunteering, for sure, and learning some new coding skills (another throwback), but now and for the next little bit, sketchbooking will be my jam.
Carmen Yount 