I am what they call a “mature” student. I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve done a lot of formal education-related activities. I’ve got a bachelor’s degree, a post-baccalaureate certificate and a graduate certificate… and I was something like six units away from an associate’s degree in the middle of all of that (I had to abandon it for a cross-country move).
And now I’m at the point where, as a graduate student, I still want to learn, but I’m not a fan of the trappings of school. I’m working on a project at the moment that I’m kind of excited about… and while I’m paying close attention to all of the rubrics, readings, and feedback, I don’t really care what my professor thinks about it. That’s not to say that I won’t make changes to it in accordance with feedback. I will, for sure, especially if that feedback helps to move the project in a direction I want to go. But I’m intrigued enough by the subject matter that I don’t feel the need to alter the trajectory of it, if that makes sense.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not really looking for my instructor’s approval. I’m interested in their opinions about how I can sharpen my argument, or strengthen my sourcing, but I’m not all that concerned about whether they think it’s an amazing piece of work. I think the subject is very, very cool, and that’s what matters to me in this moment, I think.
This is kind of a new way of thinking for me, and likely comes from being exhausted from a lifetime of people-pleasing. The thing is, like most people, I generally perform better doing work I’m excited about, or at least interested in. Again, like most people, I *can* do things that don’t really interest me, but I generally don’t excel at them, and that’s fine.
So yeah, this week it was a 1700-word blog post, with photos, a video, and lots of references. Next week, a 1000-word essay about an information seeking-model that pertains to my topic. As I move forward, I’ll fill out my research with more peer-reviewed, academic work (newsflash: I’m currently working with 10-12 sources from the perspectives of archaeology, anthropology, ecology, and, of course, information science).
I’ve been thinking a lot about AI over the last several months, and I’ve concluded that there’s synthesis that happens when I’m researching and writing that AI can’t really help with. Maybe it’s because I’m a deliberate thinker (not all that quick on the uptake), and I need to puzzle ideas out for myself. Maybe it’s because I’m old(er), and I still like to read papers on paper, so I can make notes and mark them up. Also on the “mature,” front, I still draft longhand, occasionally, though I’ve been moving away from that (now I draft mostly in MS Word, so that I can save versions — once a graphic designer…). I’m sure at some point I’ll have to figure out how to work with AI, but at this point, I haven’t found a way for it to be useful for my process.
One thing I am not enjoying? Formatting references (resources… whatever). I’ve always been kind of bad at it, but now I’ve had to switch from MLA to APA, and it’s a little bit different, so… that’s going to take a minute.
But you know what? If I knew how to do any of this I wouldn’t need to be here. So I’m just going to continue to nerd out on my topic, and figure out the rest of it as I go along.
Carmen Yount 
