Deep Breath

It’s definitely late fall.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit recently about values, particularly since the U.S. election. I worked in media for more than a decade, and in that role, I was not allowed to become involved in partisan politics. It actually suited me just fine — I’m objectively bad at all kinds of politics (organizational, legislative, election, etc.), and I straight up do not enjoy participating in that discourse.

But I have values and opinions, and particularly right now, I think it’s important to be clear about them, so that everyone can make their own decisions. Some of them include, in no particular order:

Body autonomy. Even in situations where I would make a different decision, or I do not understand or agree with the decision being made… especially if that’s the case. I do not have to understand you (or agree with you) to believe that you have a right to thrive as yourself. Reproductive issues? Assisted suicide? Gender-affirming care? If it involves your body, it’s not appropriate for me to insert myself into the decisions you’re making.

Hold up a second, because there’s a caveat here: if you choose not to vaccinate yourself or your kids against the advice of your doctor, you’re creating the potential to harm others.

If you are a person who thinks it’s okay to hurt puppies, you are not welcome here.

Equity. Our society would be better served if, as a matter of policy, everyone had access to education and services, even if creating that level of access requires different funding, or additional work, from the rest of us. I want to live in a society that values and honors Black/Asian/Indigenous/Latino(a), disabled, LGBTQ+, Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist, and female perspectives, as much as White, male, cis-het, Christian perspectives.

I cannot help but suspect that humanity would be much further along if we didn’t spend so much time and energy othering people… like, maybe we would have already found cures for a bunch of cancers, and at least some degenerative diseases. Maybe we could have mitigated some of the more awful impacts of climate change. Heck, for those into the idea of going to Mars, we might have been able to get there — and back.

Caring for others. As a policy discussion, this is closely related to the idea of equity. For example, there’s talk of eliminating the VA, which should be a nonstarter. I’m not saying the VA couldn’t be improved; in my region, the fact that so many veterans have had to rely on help from our congressperson to make things happen is not good. But if you eliminate the VA, what is the alternative, and how long is it going to take to implement it? How many veterans will experience additional suffering in the interim? What is the goal of “efficiency” in this context — because it looks like a plan to cause harm to people who need/have earned/deserve help.

Also, children, need to have reliable access to food and to health care, and if the only place they can get it is when they’re at school, then that’s where they should have access to food and to health care. (And so we’re absolutely clear: there’s no such thing as gender reassignment surgery in schools. Just stop it.)

Preserving — and creating — access to information. Even if it’s information I don’t like or vehemently disagree with. And yes, I’m uncomfortable with that point of view sometimes; I occasionally run across book displays that I wouldn’t mind throwing paint on. But here’s the thing: I don’t have to consume information I’m not interested in, or don’t want. Neither do you. If you’re a parent, you’re entitled to make decisions for your family… but you should not be making those decisions for other families. You have a right to hold your beliefs/values/morals; it’s true that I should not be able to prescribe morality to you… but that goes both ways.

Going outside. Walking, hiking, skiing, kayaking… taking a few minutes to sit under a tree while you get the lay of the land. Watching birds and other wildlife, and learning who lives with us. Protecting public lands. Building out both our public and private outdoor spaces to accommodate both beauty and utility. Addressing climate change in ways that mitigate harm and find new ways forward. Helping people establish relationships with the “outside” they have access to is one of my greatest interests.

Not arguing with strangers on the internet. Social media is great for a lot of things; I follow artists, writers, registered dietitians, religious leaders and scholars, politicians, activists, and scientists, and I have learned a lot from them. But some conversations require nuance that’s difficult to convey in short form interactions between people who don’t know each other very well. Bad faith actors seem drawn to the format, and so does the “I’m just asking questions”/”do your own research” crowd. Frankly, there’s a lot of work to do out here, and nobody’s got time for that.

TL;DR: Pluralism, good. Taking care of each other, and the world, good. Working to level the playing field, good. Choosing not to engage with bad-faith actors, good. Doing my best to not be a dick, very good.

I hope I have been clear.

Postscript:

Looking for a smart person who is amazingly good at explaining where we are, and how we got here? (Dr.) Tressie McMillan Cottom, a sociologist and professor at UNC’s iSchool, is worth seeking out. (She’s also a columnist for The New York Times.) I see her on Instagram every now and again (username: tressiemcphd — not going to tag her because she doesn’t know me from a hole in the wall). She’s been on The Daily Show a number of times, and is an occasional guest on Trevor Noah’s podcast (which is also worth a listen).

This morning I read something that I found helpful, by Joan Westenberg: Rebel Optimism: How We Thrive in a Broken World. This part, in particular, perfectly described a mindset I’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to formulate (and cultivate) for myself over the last few weeks:

“Lately, I’ve been digging deeper into the case for radical, stubborn, rebel optimism—a philosophy that doesn’t sugarcoat reality but stares straight into the void and says, “Not today, you fucker.” It’s not naive cheerleading; it’s weaponizing hope as a refusal to bow to the inertia of despair. The data backs it, history proves it, and action demands it.”

Fearless Girl is the energy I’m trying to cultivate right now: