Category: Thoughts about Stuff

mental health · Studenting · Thoughts about Stuff

That Time Calligraphy Saved Me

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Photo from https://traderjoessignart.blogspot.com/ (lots of amazing signwork here!)

When I was an undergraduate getting ready to embark on a year-long writing project about an aspect of Ciceronian legal rhetoric, my advisor suggested somewhat strongly, but very politely, that I get a hobby.

Because it was September, and I was a mess of stress and anxiety.

So I signed up for a calligraphy class at one of the local community colleges. Every Friday morning, I gathered my large paper pad, pens and nibs, pencils, erasers and inks, and left my apartment early in the morning to catch the first of three buses to get to class. Three hours of class and lunch in the cafeteria later, I caught the first of three buses back to school.

I loved it. I loved everything about it, even the bus rides that took me away from campus for a little bit each week. I loved inky fingers and messy lettering practice. I loved the materials and equipment. I loved the history (I went to school at Reed College, in Portland, Oregon, home to a pretty well known calligrapher: Lloyd Reynolds. My teachers were a couple of his students, and they were — and continue to be! — very accomplished in their own right).

In some ways, it wasn’t the healthiest activity. I struggled with perfectionism… practicing calligraphy did not help with that. And I was looking for an escape, rather than a way to manage my anxiety, so in addition to fueling perfectionism, I was giving the experience way more weight than it deserved.

And then, when I was telling my mom how much I enjoyed the experience and wanted to learn more and maybe try to figure out how to do some of it professionally, she said, “ok, but how are you going to make a living with it?“

I hadn’t thought that far ahead, and at that point I wasn’t considering it as a career — I was young, it was still an emerging hobby, and I was a long way from being able to earn bus fare doing it, let alone make an actual living. My assumption that you have to have everything planned out before you start, my lack of confidence in my ability to create something that worked, and that conversation killed it for me.

I continued practicing calligraphy for a few years after that (even served on the board of the calligraphy guild in NYC for a couple of years, and did some place cards). Then I got to do two years’ worth of typography when I studied graphic design (one of my instructors had us draw a different typeface every week: upper case, lower case, numbers, and basic punctuation. It was a lot of work, and I loved it).

That was a long time ago. These days I’m enjoying some Trader Joe’s sign writers on Instagram — they’re doing wonderful work, and it’s so fun to watch them create playful, colorful compositions that are supposed to be ephemeral. On the opposite end of that spectrum is John Stevens’s beautiful carved inscriptions.

Here’s the thing. There’s a place for beloved hobbies, even if they never become careers. I see so many talented actors, singers, knitters, bakers, horse folk, gardeners, and artists, who make their livings as teachers, admins, librarians, postal carriers. (One of the Trader Joe’s sign artists I follow is an abstract artist, and the sign work is steadier income.) Point is, everybody has to juggle something, and if you’re lucky, you get to choose what you juggle.

Also, I miss that part of my existence — not the perfectionism, but letterforms and the close observation of them. Maybe it’s time to start drawing letters again.

Studenting · Thoughts about Stuff

On a Random Monday

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During our “spring break,” I wrote up the results of a group discussion topic, did a budget revision, prepped two case studies for discussion, and finished up scripts for 3 presentations (2 short presentations + a short subtopic) for another group project. (I recorded the presentations the following week so that our “production” person could stitch all of our efforts together to make a ~45-minute group presentation.) I also finished our taxes and got my hair cut. It was a very productive week; it was *not* a spring break.

And I did a bunch of it while camping out at my local branch library. It’s a recent thing for me… not every day, but it’s happening more and more. If you had told me even five years ago that the library would supplant a coffee shop as my go-to spot for getting work done, I would have laughed at you. But the pandemic broke me of my coffee shop obsession; I learned to make good coffee at home, and the library is usually a more pleasant alternative than most of my local coffee shops — it’s quieter, less chaotic, more spacious, and more comfortable.

Photo by Meridian Construction and Development, Inc.

The branch I have been visiting most frequently has robust programming for young children and their adults, so it’s usually not quiet (I’m not sure the recent renovation included much sound mitigation), but it’s lively. I settle at a table away from the joie de vivre, put in my ear buds and listen to some music or a podcast, pull out my laptop (or notebook and a pen), and get to work.

Some other highlights of a recent visit:

Anyone with a uterus can relate to the first; I can think of a few times when I would have benefited greatly from having access to free menstrual products, and I would have been profoundly grateful for them. The yarn and fabric exchange is just a great idea. I think I have some fabric (and probably yarn) I can donate…

These, of course, have nothing to do with traditional libraries, but they’re really, really cool, and indicative of this library’s desire to serve its community in nontraditional ways. The class I’m starting to finish up this semester required some thought about how libraries are evolving to become more than repositories for books, and I see some of the initiatives I have been learning about in Spokane’s South Hill Library.

I am here for it.

[This is a branch library that serves one of Spokane’s older, fairly wealthy, neighborhoods. Spokane had a Carnegie library (that now houses an architecture firm), and the original Spokane City Library was on the land now occupied by the Central Library. The South Hill branch is one of five neighborhood branches. Spokane Public Library also supports two book kiosks, and a maker space.]

Thoughts about Stuff

A Word about Holidays

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Photo by Andrea Imre: https://www.pexels.com/photo/chocolate-eggs-in-container-16176611/

All families have baggage. Each family’s circumstances are unique; even with shared DNA, each individual brings their own experiences, and perceptions of those experiences, into the mix. My family’s baggage centers around repression, judgement, and shame. It evolved over generations, and like a lot of generational trauma, it had its roots in cultural and religious biases, and abuse. We looked like a reasonably functional group to outsiders, and we loved each other as best we could.

But it was hard.

And it made holidays hard. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Most of our families do not conform to marketing schemes, or religious ideals, or expectations surrounding food. We want to, and we try, and the trying is exhausting, and frustrating, and fraught.

And we cling to whatever traditions we have created, as tightly as possible. And that is exhausting. It makes these occasions, that are supposed to be about family, and food, and tradition, practically unbearable: occasions that are to be endured rather than enjoyed.

My experience with the particulars of my family shifted dramatically after I got married and we started splitting holidays. That had its own challenges, but I got to see how another family — one with different expectations for holiday get togethers — managed the situation.

And then, after my grandparents died, almost a decade ago, the experience of our big holidays changed considerably. It took my immediate family a few years to figure out what works for us: fewer expectations, more outdoor walks (weather permitting), watching football games, still lots of food (but simpler and easier to prepare).

There are as many ways to celebrate a holiday as there are people who celebrate it. I feel like there’s really no way to know this until you’re nearly grown, but it’s incumbent on each of us to decide what holidays we’re going to observe, how, and with whom.

Family traditions can be great, unless they’re not. Go all in with them, or engage with them as you can.

Maybe sleep in and have a lazy breakfast (if there are no small children to celebrate with), or get up early to run and play a pick-up game of basketball. Spend some time with family (the one you’re born into or the one you choose)… or don’t. Cook a big meal, if that’s your jam, or get takeout. (And don’t sleep on Chinese food for Christmas dinner.)

Or, if you need to, ditch the occasion altogether.

I feel like an outsider looking in when it comes to holidays (I don’t like that feeling), in part because for me, holidays have always been about fitting into someone else’s expectations. After basically ignoring last Christmas and Easter (forgotten? blocked it out?), I would like to be more intentional about holiday celebrations, because I like the idea of the winter holidays, at least. I want to spend Thanksgiving with my mom and brother (like we usually do). For Christmas this year, I’d like to send some cards, and have a tree, and maybe plan a tasty, but simple, celebratory meal with friends and/or family. Maybe celebrate with a few meals with friends as they have time. (We used to travel at Christmas, but after a few Covid years, and experiences with the airlines at the holidays, I am, as they say, over it.)

How do I reset my expectations for holiday celebrations and not impose my expectations on others? That will be part of my process, I think… What will the holidays look like? I don’t know. We’ll see. I’m shooting for eating well, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and figuring out how to find comfort and joy in holiday celebrations.

Studenting · Thoughts about Stuff · Volunteering

Happy Easter (?)

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I did not realize that today was Easter until… last Thursday. The Thursday before Good Friday. Somehow the ubiquitous Easter Bunnies did not break through.

Oy.

But hey, I put pepper in my oatmeal this morning, so it’s safe to say that I’m generally turned around at the moment.

Photo by Monika Grabkowska on Unsplash

The primary reason: I’m knee-deep in a management course.

It’s one of six courses that everyone in this program (SJSU MLIS) has to take, and one of four we have to complete in the first third of the program. This one has been a challenge, because if you’ve ever met me, you’ll know that I’m both deeply distrustful of the idea of management as a discipline, and disinterested in engaging with it on any level (to put it mildly). I’m not opposed to capitalism as an economic system, though without guardrails it seems to become more about getting as much as you can before things go sideways than about investing for long-term (more modest) gain and stability. Management, as I’ve experienced it as an employee, is less about creating anything than it is about cutting costs and exploiting employees. The managers I’ve worked with who actually have MBAs… smart, smart people, with less interest in learning from observation than applying theory they studied in school.

Also, not a fan of group work. I think the people in my groups are great, and I have have deeply appreciated their feedback, but it is a lot of meetings, and between my two groups (for this one class) it means having to coordinate the schedules of eight people. If we worked in the same organization at the same time, it might be easier, but we’re students in a program designed for working adults, so…

Sorry Easter (and oatmeal), you’ll have to pardon my distraction, as I work through subjects like strategic planning, trendwatching, and budgeting. Planning — necessarily imperfect, but good! Responding to trends — unavoidable at the macro level, unsustainable at the micro level, particularly for orgs that aren’t “agile.” Budgeting… sigh. (Look, I actually think accounting exercises are kind of fun, like puzzles, but budgeting for staff cuts is awful on a few levels.)

And then there’s the investor pitch deck (first of two major projects). I enjoy research — the research part of this semester-long assignment has been a blast. Library lighting, and food-and-drink policy (my pieces of the puzzle for this group project) are actually interesting topics, when you delve into them — they both involve some engineering, sociology, and architecture (and trends!)… that’s all good. Spokane Central Library finished a $33-million renovation a couple of years ago, so I even have some recent, local, ideas to draw from. This week I’m finishing the scripts for my presentations, and next week, I’ll be recording my portions (x3: lighting, food and drink, space planning), to hand off to our group’s editors so we can finish this project a week earlier than the due date (or have time to deal with last-minute crises).

The last major project, which isn’t even on my radar until mid-April, is a research paper. I’ll get to it when the two papers that are due next week, and the presentation, are done.

Other shenanigans, at the Outdoor Learning Center:

  • Taking in a temporary, emergency placement Western Screech Owl (his person had some fire damage to her facilities, so we’re taking care of him until those are resolved). I got to learn to use pocket holes to prep his enclosure!
  • Replacing platforms that were starting to become unusable.
  • Working with first graders for the first time this year! (First time for me, not the OLC — I usually work with grades 3 – 5 in the spring.)

And one more, not at the OLC: dragging out the mini-chainsaw/tree pruner to take down limbs from a neighbor’s tree that are overhanging our roof. I’ll be using the rope chainsaw next week for the taller ones!

I need a nap, and the day has barely begun.

Thoughts about Stuff

2023: The Year that Was… A Lot

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I sat too much in 2023.

I mean, there were reasons. I was in school, or drawing. It was icy here for the first six weeks of the year. I didn’t feel great for a bunch of it (and then had some, ahem, procedures, to find and — hopefully — fix the issue(s)). Fabulous and talented husband caught Covid right in the middle of the Thanksgiving/end of semester/surgical procedure mayhem, which was… not great. (Thankfully, he recovered fully, but he tested positive for almost three weeks.)

The outdoor learning center where I volunteer lost an owl. Hopefully he’s fine (like NYC’s Flaco), but he’s no longer with us. We also gained an owl (different kind of owl, much smaller, lives in an indoor enclosure)… he’s cute.

We welcomed a new dog, Lucy, into our home, and she is a trip. She’s a big lab mix, full of joie de vivre and sass. I love her with my whole heart.

I’m writing this while walking on a (walking) treadmill. (I got the treadmill at the beginning of 2023, but then Lucy came home, and it was all hands on deck for a few months to get her on the right track.) My Christmas gift to myself was a standing desk. It was inexpensive, and it’s not very robust, so if I like using it, I might upgrade.

Do I have resolutions?

No.

I have continuations of things I started last year. I’ve had some success, but it’s been hit or miss, so rather than try anything new, I want to keep working on the “old”… like:

  1. 20 minutes of yoga, 6 days a week, with added emphasis on strength and balance. I’d like to work up to include a couple of 45-60-minute practices a week, but for now, twenty minutes is sustainable. In January, I’m doing a 31-day challenge (some of those days might be TEN minutes, heavy on meditation), so we’ll see how that goes.
  2. More walking. Now that I can do some walking while listening to lectures, that should be a little bit easier. Am I going to be ready for the NYC marathon with my neighborhood walks and “working walks”? No. But I think it beats sitting so much.
  3. Continue with school (MLIS, SJSU). I’m moving in the direction of archiving/preservation and technology, with a small emphasis on controlled vocabularies and metadata. I’m a librarian, but not the kind of librarian most people interact with.
  4. Also “leaning in” to my illustration and design experience. I don’t want to do it professionally, but I miss the work and would like to engage more with it.
  5. A bunch of house projects (painting, decluttering, replacing the AC), some of which I won’t be involved in, but will call people for help.
  6. More work with the outdoor learning center birds… I’ve been volunteering there for almost 12 years (!), and I love it. I may be able to disengage from some of the day-to-day this year and “float.” I’ll deep clean the mew of the red-tail (still doing my part!) and work on special projects (replacing platforms, fixing perches), but I may “lose” my regular day to new volunteers.

Healthcare · In the Kitchen · Lucy the Pup · Thoughts about Stuff · Volunteering

Spitballing before Bed

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Not sure I’ll publish this, or that any of it actually needs to be said, but it’s 9:22p (and, now that I’m old, nearly my bedtime), and I’m thinking about the holidays, expectations, and how to deal…

My fabulous and talented husband is just not into the holidays. Like me, he grew up with a single parent, and for their family, there were more pressing priorities most years.

My family was very into the holidays, but mostly as a performance art. There was church, a tree, a big meal, presents, the whole nine yards. There was also an enormous amount of stress, particularly for my mother, because the expectations, particularly for a single mom raising two children while working full time (and going to school, for a while), were unrealistically high. None of us were much help, so it was hard for her. (Time has dramatically changed the composition of our family — and as grown people, my brother and I contribute a lot more — the holidays are much smaller, and in many ways simpler.)

I actually like Christmas. I like evergreens and lights, red bows, giving presents, making a nice meal and sharing it with whomever. Over the Covid years, I put up lights and trees before Thanksgiving.

If your jackalope isn’t wearing fairy lights, do you even *have* a jackalope?

This year, not so much. 2023 has been a long haul — mostly it was good, but kind of intense. I wasn’t feeling great for a big part of it — not sick, thankfully, but in some pain and generally feeling meh. Add a couple of big-ish procedures and a round of icky medicine, and I’m ready to not see my doctors for a while.

And then, in what seemed like an omen, there was this:

The ornament thing just makes me laugh, because right now, it’s so on brand for this pup. She’s all joyful chaos, and in a way, the ornament is much more reflective of who she is after she “modified” it.

All this to say that Christmas 2023 is going to be mostly a non-event in this household. A tree would be too stressful with Lucy (aka the menace like Dennis), I don’t have the brain space to do a bunch of decorating, and fabulous and talented husband doesn’t seem to notice. Maybe everyone will be more excited about things next year, and maybe Lucy will mellow a little bit? Stay tuned!

The day itself is going to be really busy anyway. My volunteer shift falls on Christmas this year (like the Covid years!). I get to feed the classroom critters along with the raptors, and my fabulous and talented husband is helping me cope beaks and trim talons (and replace some cuffs that didn’t last as long as they should have), so it will be a significant investment of time. Then we’re having supper with some friends who suffered a terrible loss a couple of months ago. We’ll support our friends, and contribute to the Christmas meal with dairy free green bean casserole (if you sub cashew cream for heavy cream, you’re good to go) and a root vegetable tian (also dairy free, subbing the parmesan with a little bit of nutritional yeast).

Then maybe there will be time for some rest…

Speaking of which, it really is my bedtime now, so off I go.

Lucy the Pup · Studenting · Thoughts about Stuff

The To-do List that Never Ends

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My mom texted me last night, “are you enjoying the break from school?”

Too busy.

Finished school (research paper + infographic + blog post)… I did not procrastinate this semester (unusual), and it still walloped me, because everything ended up coming due over the course of five days.

Fabulous and talented husband caught Covid. He travelled across the country twice this year, to spend time at big sporting events… nothing. Went to the gym after we got back from Portland after Thanksgiving… bam! Poor guy. It’s day 15 and he’s still in a mask at home. (We were both boosted in early October, so his course has been reasonably mild, if long lasting.)

Surgical procedure for me (after consulting with my doctor’s office about Covid exposure), involving stirrups and sedation… unpleasant, but done with (and no cancer!), so that’s good.

Taking care of the household and animals, and cooking and shopping, because somehow I have managed to avoid the Covid (for now, knock wood). Trying to keep up with this in the days after surgery was… challenging… because I don’t know if you know this, but anesthesia makes you kind of loopy, and the stress and anxiety leading up to it did not help.

Volunteering (independently, because for the first time in a while I’m not actively training someone), and a volunteer meeting (Zoom), and a subsequent follow up set of documents about handling new (to you) birds. A dentist appointment (after consulting with the office about Covid exposure). A haircut (in a mask). Christmas planning and shopping. Shipping Christmas gifts to family… catching up from having to ditch last week. My face-to-face appointments are done for a while (thank goodness), and I have one more meeting this morning (via Zoom), and then, maybe I can enjoy time off from school.

Or take a nap, and then enjoy time off from school.

Maybe kick the ball(s) around with this bundle of energy:

Photo of Lucy, a one-year-old lab mix, sitting on the stairs. Her bum is on the top step and her front legs are on the next step.
Lucy hanging out on the steps… just waiting to find a squirrel being out of line.
Thoughts about Stuff

Burnout

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I grew up in a family full of pathologically busy people. Probably some coping mechanism there, along with the internalized Puritanical admonishment against “idle hands.”

So I did school + after school activities (sports/theater/music), went to church twice a week, threw homework and flute practice into the mix, spent time with friends. I also took a bunch of dance classes (which was the thing I really loved).

When I got older (in college), I was in school. I worked. I volunteered with my church youth group.

I was not idle. But I was so tired.

By the time I graduated high school, I was exhausted. By the time I graduated college, I was struggling with suicidal ideation.

And then I spent more than a decade working for a company doing election work, which meant weird, exhausting schedules for months at a time, while working with a management team that, um, was not great. During that time I developed an autoimmune disease, and then I lost the ability to sleep more than three hours at a time… for several months.

I was not idle… but I was falling apart.

I left that job more than a decade ago, and thought I was done with that part of my existence… but apparently not. My mother came for short visit earlier this summer, and by the time she left, I could barely move.

It had nothing to do with my mom’s visit — it was a wonderful to see her and we did some really fun things. In other words, there was nothing about it that should have caused that kind of reaction.

I mentioned to my therapist that I was feeling completely burned out, and I couldn’t figure out why. When we took a peak through the last 18 months, though, things became clearer:

  • In January 2022, Lilo, our 16-year-old, little dog, got very sick. She had kidney disease and pancreatitis, and in addition to hospital stays, we were at the vet a couple of times a week for fluids for several months, until she passed in October.
  • When she passed, I was in the middle of a master naturalist course, and trying to get into graduate school.
  • After a fun trip to Las Vegas in December, we spent a couple of weeks being pretty sick (not Covid, but maybe RSV) over the holidays.
  • I took a kidlit course (amazing, but a lot more work than I anticipated) starting in early January.
  • I started graduate school in mid-January.
  • Lucy came home in late January. (Lucy is wonderful, but she threw a wrench into what was supposed to be a carefully managed schedule.)
  • After dropping one of my grad classes (to accommodate Lucy) in early Feb., I started a coding certificate course in April.
  • The Americorps person at the Outdoor Learning Center where I volunteer left in April, so a bunch of us had to pitch in a little bit more to get through the school year — I had originally planned to do one event, I ended up doing three events and holding down the fort for a construction project for 2 more days (in addition to my regularly scheduled volunteer shifts).
  • Took Lucy to puppy kindergarten (2 classes, each 4 weeks).
  • I was cooking five nights a week… composed meals. (Why?)
  • Finished grad school school term #1 in mid-May.
  • Finished the first coding class, mid-June.
  • Mom came to visit, end of June 2023.
Photo of sleeping Lucy, an 8-month-old Lab/Pit Bull mix. She has two speeds: 100mph and 0mph.
Lucy, July 2023. A rare moment of peace.

So, uh, yeah, I am burned out.

Again.

I’m proud of my ability to power through during emergencies. I seem to be unable to manage my schedule in such a way that leaves space for the unexpected, though, and that has become a problem. I think my body has probably never really been great at perpetual motion (see suicidal ideation, and inability to sleep), but as I get older it takes a lot longer to recover from the fatigue, and that recovery seems to be accompanied by some unpleasant physical symptoms (GI issues this time around… whee?).

How do people avoid this? I never learned this adulting skill, and I need to figure it out.

I read something helpful on Instagram(?) earlier this summer. The poster suggested that burnout is not managed by taking a break; it gets fixed when you create a more sustainable structure for your life. So let’s try that.

I’m heading into the fall still in recovery mode, with a reduced school schedule (one class instead of two), along with a coding class. Once I finish the coding certificate, I’ll start adding in another graduate class.

I’ll keep volunteering once or twice (but mostly once) a week with the birds, because I like that (and it helps me maintain my master naturalist certification).

And I’ll try to figure out how to eat without pain. (Working with my doctor on that!)

Non-calendared (is that even a word?) priorities include more training with Lucy (who is getting quite good at working with her tunnel, and the ball, and a platform). Her recall is improving, and she’s starting to get the hang of “stay” — at nine months old, she is just starting to get to the point where she can focus on us enough to take treats when she’s away from the house, so I think more leash training is high on the list of our priorities with her.

The other non-calendared priority: journaling and drawing.

And figuring out how to adult without burning out.

Drawing · Thoughts about Stuff

Productivity & Anxiety

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Yesterday I sat down to do a 10-minute drawing exercise yesterday, on illustrator Wendy MacNaughton’s suggestion: do a circle drawing.

The technique is inspired by Japanese artist Hiroyuki Doi, who does this incredibly beautiful compositions based entirely on repeating circles:

Image by Hiroyuki Doi, from an article at hyperallergic.com about his work.

So I set my timer for ten minutes, and off I went.

There’s nothing special about the 10-minute drawing. Like many 10-minute drawings, it’s awkward, and unfocused.

The interesting part of the experience had nothing to do with the drawing. But maybe everything to do with it… not sure. I started feeling antsy, and anxious, and needing to check the timer, at about 9.30. It was not a relaxing, flow-based feeling. I was feeling bad.

So I decided to lean into it for a little bit.

I suspect that this impulsive, let’s-try-something-new, little drawing — based on a prompt — didn’t feel productive enough. I was taking time out of my day to do something completely frivolous, something that was supposed to be kind of relaxing, and instead I felt like I was stealing time.

But from what? From whom? I wasn’t working on anything, or volunteering. I’m working my way through a class, but I’m not on a hard deadline at the moment. I didn’t have somewhere else I needed to be — no one was waiting for me, or depending on me, for anything in that moment.

I think that this kind of anxiety comes from some very old stuff. While I’m uncomfortable with the notion of an inner child (I don’t have any specific issue with it, but it feels weird), I think that this is the kind of thing that requires some acknowledgement and remediation (is that the right word?).

So, for myself — or anyone else — who needs to hear it: please take some time today to do something the rest of the world (or your family of origin) might not approve of because it’s not “productive.” It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture… maybe a 10-minute circle drawing will do the trick.

AI · Thoughts about Stuff

ChatGPT in Real Life

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So, apparently, one thing that ChatGPT is good at is bullshitting its way through research.

From The New York Times: Here’s What Happens When Your Lawyer Uses ChatGPT.

Apparently, an attorney (who had been practicing law for three decades), used ChatGPT to help with research on a brief. It made up legal rulings and opinions. And when pressed about whether those things were real… it lied.

The making-stuff-up part is not all that unexpected; it’s an algorithm that synthesizes existing information and fills in the details to make a more authoritative product. The lying part is a bit disconcerting.

In a bit of teaching brilliance, Twitter user @cwhowell123 did an experiment with his students:

The thread is incredibly interesting. Highly recommended.

All of his students generated essays using ChatGPT and then read them critically. He says that his students were surprised to learn (just as the lawyer from above) that ChatGPT could mislead them.

The pièce de résistance (for me), was found here:

I have not (as of yet) tried to use ChatGPT. It’s good to know that it’s not (yet) ready for primetime as a content generator. It seems that at least some of its “learning” has been devoted to creating content that sounds authoritative, without actually being reliable.

Frankly, I have memories of being a college student and doing the same thing. Although, some credit to me: I know that it’s not good practice to cite a source without laying eyes on the source. (Even if I misunderstand the intent of the author(s), or draw different conclusions from the research, I need to actually read the article before I use it as a reference.) I’m not smart enough to make up sources out of thin air, so that’s not a practice I would attempt either. (Yeah, the AI may know more than I do, but I know how to use what I know in ways that are mostly appropriate.)

My husband did an exercise with ChatGPT where he fed a 600-word NYTimes story about a Supreme Court ruling, and asked it to summarize the article in 300 words. He said that ChatGPT did a reasonable job, but it still got one point wrong. (He knew that because he read the NYTimes article first.)

This is all very interesting, and is helpful to me as I try to figure out how AI works and what it’s capabilities actually are. I’m coming around to the idea that ChatGPT, rather than being a generator of original content, is a natural language search algorithm that’s capable of synthesizing information based on its “learning,” and producing a natural language result. If I assume that that’s the case, then I should be prepared to subject every bit of its product to critical analysis (just as I would have to for any other kind of search results).