We did it!
Actually, fabulous and talented husband Dana did it, with an assist from good friend Kevin. (I was in physical therapy for my injured back.)
As a reminder:

And now…. ta-dah!

Much better. Good landscaping will have to wait until next year, and part of the project next year will be to hire someone to “fix” the concrete pad near the fence… and by “fix,” I mean remove and replace. Then we’ll have to level and slope that part of the patio correctly. (The good news: everything drains away from the foundation. The bad news: that concrete is sloped in such a way that it was impossible to level and slope the patio appropriately in that spot. Our neighbor, a former contractor, said, “I’m not sure how they got that so wrong.”)
[A word to DIY homeowners: if you’re unsure about how to do stuff, HIRE SOMEONE. Even if you want to do the work yourself, get a consultation about how to do stuff the right way, particularly for issues having to do with water and electricity. We’ve spent a good chunk of money and time over the last decade repairing and replacing plumbing, roofing–and now the patio. We have more to do in the coming years. It sucks. OK, back to the patio.]
Did I mention the fire pit? Now that we have a nice, big enough, not weedy outdoor space to relax, we can have use a fire pit! A fire pit!

It’s so great to be done with this project (for this year, anyway). It’s a huge relief to have it finished.